


You've Been Served

by scaredofrobots



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, throw me in the sin bin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 20:38:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14120349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scaredofrobots/pseuds/scaredofrobots
Summary: James Potter knew that dating anyone Sirius Black introduced him to would have...consequences. He finds himself being sued by his girlfriend of two years.





	You've Been Served

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elanev91](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elanev91/gifts).



James Potter should've known dating anyone that Sirius Black set him up with him would mean the drama in his life would increase a hundredfold. That is what he told himself repeatedly as he and Remus looked over  _The Papers_. He and Remus had been rudely awoken by loud knocking that morning. They'd expected some sort of repercussions after the argument the night before, but they had not expected to be woken up by a police officer knocking on the front door and barely containing their laughter as they told them, "You've been served."

He should've fucking known. Sirius vouching for someone's character is almost always a sure fire way to end up in some sort of shenanigans. Dating  _A LAWYER_  Sirius set him up with was definitely/probably going to cause some sort of legal action — he should have known. Honestly, as he read over the paperwork that was literally suing him for "emotional damages," James couldn't blame Sirius. He could only blame himself for being stupid enough to listen to Sirius Black. It was never a good idea. He had known that at some point. But there was just something about Lily Evans.

As he read over the section that described in detail the emotional distress caused by James Fleamont Potter (hereby referred to as the defendent) he tried to figure out how this had happened.

It really came down to Sirius and his incessant and consistent rants about how amazing Lily Evans was. They had occurred daily at the same time (with few exceptions).

James had in fact resisted for a solid three months (90 days) after Sirius had stated enthusiastically over Thursday drinks while James was bemoaning his singleness, "You know- Evans would be perfect for you. She's wicked smart, takes no bull shit and is the hottest person in the office -besides me."

James laughed it off with a, "Don't you remember when you hooked me up with Kirsten?"

Kirsten was a sore subject. Sirius had tried to hook James up with several women, but Kirsten had been the absolute worst. They'd gone on three dates before Kirsten  _told_  him exactly what type of ring to get her if he wanted to continue their relationship. Since then James had avoided anyone Sirius had recommended.

"Fine- fine. I just think she'd be perfect for you- but if you'd rather wither away in misery until you die a lonely old man that is alright." Sirius didn't mention Evans the rest of that evening. James was suspicious. But then- Sirius had only brought Evans up every single day since then.

Evans (whose name was Lily he found out on the 15th day of Sirius mentioning her) - did sound like quite the woman.

On day twenty four of "Evans Story Time"- as James had labeled it in his head- which occurred at approximately 6:17 every evening- he learned that Evans had gone to school for environmental law and had only gotten into politics to try and save the fucking planet.

On day thirty five, "Evans Story Time" was about how Lily had "fucking schooled some dick named Nigel from Senator Berry's office who assumed she was a damn intern and asked her for coffee and tried to touch her ass." Nigel had promptly been fired by Senator Berry and a full sexual harassment investigation had been launched within the office.

On the sixtieth day, James simply received a text from Sirius at 6:17

**SB: Sorry pal- can't. Working late. Evans has some damn science protest planned and had put me in charge of our social media presence for it. You should look it up!**

He'd attached a selfie where he was wearing a ridiculous green t-shirt that featured a cartoon squid holding a heart underneath his blazer. In the background, however was a very pretty, very shapely woman's backside in a pencil skirt with that same ridiculous t-shirt over it and a megaphone held in her right hand with a cell phone in the other- and beautiful, beautiful long red hair meeting the middle of her back.

James prayed to God that the backside in question did not belong to Lily Evans because if it belonged to Lily Evans, it would mean that Sirius Black was fucking right. And if Sirius Black was right- he would have to sit through hours upon hours of lectures about how marvelous and brilliant Sirius was. Probably in the form of a best man's speech.

Instead of asking who the glorious backside belonged to, James simply responded-

**JP: Well that's a bummer. Guess I will finish Broadchurch without you then!**

**SB: No you won't. I changed the password during lunch today.**

James was tempted to call his mom and ask for  _her_ login, but since she'd already done their grocery shopping that month he didn't want to push his luck. He also really didn't want his mom to make fun of him again. Instead, he spent the evening rewriting the field trip curriculum for the museum, something he'd been pushing off for  _months._ And so he was begrudgingly grateful that he had a quiet apartment to work in.

After the protest that occured on Day 60- Sirius Black went completely radio silent about Lily Evans. After three days, James cracked as they began their  _Broadchurch_ marathon. "So- how is Evans after the protest?"

Sirius paused the show and turned to James with a wicked grin, "I thought you weren't interested."

"I'm not," James shrugged, "You just haven't had any Evans stories lately."

"Oh, well- she's chief of staff, so she had to travel with Levins to some corn husking event or some shit to recruit volunteers for the next election cycle," Sirius responded and picked up his phone. "Now stop talking I have to Snap her every time David yells 'Miller' or gets overly Scottish."

James tried very hard to ignore the videos Sirius was receiving back - he was focused on the show. He couldn't  _see_ Lily Evans from where he was sitting, but he could hear her.

"BLAAAACK", came a scarily accurate impression of David Tennant Scottish brogue, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YA DOIN BLACK? CORN SHUCKING IS SO MUCH MORE FUN THAN WATCHING BROADCHURCH." James tried very hard to resist the urge to look over every time Sirius opened a video.

On Day 70, Sirius was late to Thursday drinks. This wasn't unusual, Sirius was often late. Working for a senator who was "Going to smash the Mother F******* Patriarchy" (that had been her actual campaign slogan and she had won by a margin of 20%) often meant later and stranger hours. James checked his phone and had one message from Sirius-

**SB: On the way! Bringing some company!**

James sighed as he slid his phone into his pocket and looked for another chair to pull up to the table. Fifteen minutes later, he was alerted to Sirius Black's entrance into Sully's as he always was by the bartender greeting Sirius across the pub with a, "Who Let This Dog in Here?"

Sirius responded, as always with a, "You did, you son of a bitch," but this time there was an additional, "and look who I brought with me!"

This made James look up from his intense level of Angry Birds Star Wars Edition to see Sully greet….

"Lily Evans!" Sully exclaimed. "I thought you were too good to slum it with the likes of us."

"Well Sully- I gotta make sure you still make the best gin and tonic in DC," Lily replied with a wink.

James' brain stuttered to a complete halt. Sirius had told James that Lily was, "the hottest person in the office besides me," but he had not told James that he was lying.

Lily Evan was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. And from the way she was giving Sully shit and making the angry bartender  _laugh_ \- James figured he needed to find everything wrong with Lily Evans before he fell for her and proved Sirius correct.

As he watched, he hoped nonchalantly, Lily and Sirius receive  _free drinks_  (another thing he'd never seen Sully do) and head toward their table, he tried very hard to not notice how red Lily's hair was, how green her eyes were or how perfectly her dark jeans hugged her curves or how she carried herself with a confidence he rarely saw. But he supposed the confidence was something he should expect from a woman who had been the campaign manager and current chief of staff for a Senator who was "Smashing the Mother Fucking Patriarchy".

When she and Sirius finally sat down at the table, Lily held out her hand and James watched as Sirius handed her twenty American dollars.

"I can't fucking believe he gave you free drinks," Sirius muttered as he handed her the money.

"Oh," Lily smirked, "Didn't I tell you bartending here got me through law school and I still do Sully's taxes for free? He gives me all the gin and tonics."

Sirius laughed at this and responded with a, "Should've known better than to bet against you, Evans."

Lily laughed and her eyes suddenly moved to James — they were startingly green- he realized. She was saying something to him but all he could do was stare at her eyes and think "pickles."

And stupidly, that word came out of his mouth.

She laughed, again, and James realized he loved that sound.

Sirius slapped him on the back and said, "James here enjoys randomly spitting out vegetables- or fruits? Is pickle a fruit?. But Mama Potter would be offended if I let you introduce yourself to him anyway. So…...James Potter meet Lily Evans. Lily Evans meet James Potter."

Lily reached her hand across the table and shook his saying, "Nice to meet you." And then turning to Sirius she said, "I don't know why you told me he was horribly disfigured. I'm assuming you were referring to his glasses Sirius- but honestly they only make him more dashing. I suddenly have a craving for fried pickles. I'll be back"

And giving James a wink, she took her newly acquired $20 and sauntered to the bar.

James knew he was staring, but he couldn't seem to stop. Lily was fascinating.

It only got worse as she helped James finally beat the level of Angry Birds Star Wars Edition he'd been stuck on for a month.

Then, she took his phone and added her number saying, "I need someone to talk to who understands my plight with Sirius."

Then he found out that she too, "was a goddamn monster who claimed to enjoy running" (according to Sirius) when she left early to make it for her 5am run- James knew he might be in trouble.

As he read over the paperwork, James realized that day seventy was probably when he should've headed for the hills. Lily Evans has bested his best friend - Sirius Black who had never lost a bet against anyone had lost to this unexplainable woman.

Yes. Day seventy had been his undoing, James thought as he texted Lily a picture of the paperwork with fifteen question marks.

Her response was very lawyerly

**LE: I cannot in good conscience speak with you about this without our lawyers present.**

He rolled his eyes and bit back the urge to again call her dramatic.

**JP: Alright. Good luck with your meeting today. I'm sure Senator Dickhead will make some compromises with you**

He watched as the three typing bubbles appeared and then disappeared. The small box in his pocket seemed very heavy.

Maybe Day seventy wasn't the day that got him into this situation. Day ninety was when he had finally asked her out. After twenty days of text messages and ten days of running together at 5am, James had finally worked up the fucking courage.

On day ninety, he and Lily were finishing their run, where she had beaten him again and was fucking grinning at him with that look that just made him want to forget all of the things his mother told him were polite and proper.

As he reached her she said to him, "Getting old, Potter? Shall I call the funeral home?"

That was the final straw.

"Yes. And before I die- I'd like to take you to dinner. On a date. That I pay for and open your door and pull out your chair for you."

James had no idea who the fuck who has just said that, but it sounded like his voice and from the way Lily was looking at him, it seemed like his verbal diarrhea had actually come out of his mouth.

Lily narrowed her eyes and said, "This isn't some fucking joke Sirius put you up to?"

"No?" James replied- lamely and suddenly wished he was anywhere else

"Alright," Lily said and James' heart soared, "Pick me up at 5:30 tonight."

"Yeah- sure!" James exclaimed and tried to figure out where the fuck he could get a table within 12 hours on a Friday.

"Well I've gotta go. See you soon," Lily exclaimed and ran off.

James watched her go- and tried not to panic about his first date in three years.

The " _event described in appendix d"_ was completely fucking ridiculous, in James' opinion.

They'd been having a typical Thursday evening. Since he and Lily started dating, they'd foregone Thursday drinks out and had all started cooking together. They'd had a lovely meal of curry, as was their custom, and were in the middle of putting away the leftovers when the argument started.

"Lily," Sirius started, "where is the al-u-min-i-um foil?"

"You mean the alum-in-um foil?" Lily corrected

"No," Sirius said, "I need the al-u-min-i-um foil."

"I swear to God, Sirius, for the millionth time that isn't how you pronounce it!" Lily started to raise her voice slightly.

Before this started to spiral completely out of control, James decided to take action, "Oh for fucks sake- stop being so dramatic. Its like that stupid song. You two always argue about the stupidest shit and it's just so…."

"Dramatic," Remus finished, "I don't know how you put the same level of anger into pronunciation of aluminum-"

Sirius, unable to stop himself started, "Al-u-min-i-um"

"Whateverthefuck," Remus amended, "but you argue about this the same way you argue about legislation. And can't we have just one Thursday that doesn't have some dramatic, extra and altogether unnecessary end."

Looking back (or honestly when his mom shouted at him about it later- James realized this is probably when he should've said something like, "NAY! Remus- they are not dramatic- they are wonderful and perfect and we don't deserve to breathe the same air.")

Instead….he chimed in with a, "YEAH! And last week Thursday ended because you argued about what was better- yogurt or yoghurt and it is the SAME FUCKING THING"

Before Lily could interject with, "YOGHURT is better and it isn't the same…"

Remus held up a hand-

"Precisely," Remus expounded, "and the week before that the dramatic showdown was about pineapples on pizza."

"Your dramatic asses have argued about pizza sauces, pen ink color, and real or fake Christmas trees," James laughed, "And honestly it's getting a little old. You always shout, one of you storms off, and then the next day you're best friends again."

Somehow….both he and Remus missed the silent agreement Lily and Sirius reached at some point during their rant. They didn't however miss the sudden shift in the atmosphere when Lily and Sirius were standing next to each other and looking at their significant others, fuming.

"Well then," Lily said, dangerously calm, "since we are obviously so exhausting, we'll just go back to my place. You two can clean up and cover the food with the al-u-min-i-um foil- and think about what you've done. What you've done to the two people you  _allegedly_  love."

And she turned towards the door and looked at Sirius expectantly.

Sirius, straightening to his full height and using his familiar lawyer voice stated, "You'll hear from us soon."

Before they could even react, they heard the apartment door slam once….and then for good measure a second and deafening time.

James and Lily's first date was magical.

After he'd left her on their run, he did what any self respecting 30 year old would do- he called his mother for help on his lunch break.

Luckily, Euphemia was happy to oblige.

"Is this the same Lily Evans that was the youngest campaign manager to get a Senator elected?" Her voice drawled on the other end of the phone.

"I think! She's Senator Everhart's chief of staff," James started.

"And she's going out with you why? Why didn't Sirius get you two together sooner?" She complained and James heard the distinctive sound of his mother shaking a martini.

"Mother- it isn't even noon!"

"This is a crisis James! You're out of your league here and I have to plan the perfect date...oooh a red head? She is gorgeous!"

"Mom. How do you know that?"

"I have the internet, James. It isn't hard to find people."

Praying for patience and rubbing his temples James pressed on, "Please can we focus. I need a proper date for this evening. I...I can't screw this up. I am out of my league."

"James Potter. Keep that self deprecating shit to yourself. I only try to keep you humble, but I imagine you and Lily are in the same league- I don't know a sports analogy, but imagine I made a good one. So just get back to work and I will plan a date to sweep her off her feet."

"Thanks Mom- you're the best."

"I know- I gave birth to you after all...and James- please go home and change before your date? I'll text you the details- you do know how to text right?"

"Yes- Mom- I do!"

"With punctuation?"

"Grammar is fake Mom!"

Somehow- with her amazing Georgia charm and ridiculous DC contacts, Euphemia had gotten them reservations at Rasika and orchestra tickets to  _In the Heights_  at the Kennedy Center.

At 5:30 pm precisely (he'd only been waiting outside her building's front door for seven and a half minutes), James rang her apartment and she said "Coming down!"

When she met him on the steps, James was struck again by how pretty she was. Lily smiled and asked, "How was work?"

"Fine- you know museums!" James responded- lamely.

She laughed and started down the steps saying, "Right well- the metro stop isn't too far so…."

"Actually," James started, "I drove"

"You drove?" Lily asked, bewildered.

"Yep! I love to drive." James started- trying to avoid the inevitable

"But I thought you lived downtown, Mr. Hair Care Product heir," she teased, "and parking will be a fucking nightmare."

"I do live downtown," James started, "I just prefer to drive. Come on, my car is right over…."

Lily turned to him with her eyes wide, "Oh my god- you aren't one of those assholes who thinks Public Transport is dirty or something right? Because honestly-"

"NO! No…." James tried, "I'm just….well….."

"You just?" Lily asked, eyes flashing dangerously.

"I SUCK AT PUBLIC TRANSIT OK?!" James exploded, "When I first moved to DC I got confused and transferred to the wrong line and then I rode it to the end because I thought- 'surely my stop is next' and then next thing I know I'm at Franconia-Springfield and everyone is staring at me and I didn't want to ride it back so I just took an uber home."

Mercifully- and probably with a great amount of strength Lily didn't laugh, she simply said, "Oh you poor little country mouse. I'll train you yet."

After much protest and argument, Lily made James promise that their next date would be public transit only. The only way he'd talked her out of making him do it that night was they would miss their reservations.

At dinner, James was surprised to learn that Lily was a fucking theatre nerd.

He hadn't told her they were going to see  _In the Heights_ until after they ordered their cocktails and Lily proceeded to totally freak the freak out.

"Get out!" she exclaimed and punched James in the arm, "I can't believe it! Lin is my absolute favorite. He's a genius- we don't deserve him or his craft or….oh my god, I'm going to faint"

Not having any idea what she was talking about, James nodded- just enjoying watching her talk about something so passionately.

He learned she was an avid theatre kid in high school, and that that was what got her started in advocacy. Her high school was going to cut all fine arts and she wasn't going to allow it. She'd found data on kids who stayed in school for the arts and convinced the local board of education to continue to the funding.

The rest of their date passed by in a haze of conversation, amazing performance (James started to download the entire album on his phone during intermission), and a delicious post show milkshake. Lily had insisted upon getting a milkshake- telling him it was tradition and "I'm not going to let you fuck up my tradition with some other fancy dessert plan, James Potter".

He took her home, and it was his turn to insist upon tradition. "My mother would literally kill me if I didn't walk you to your door," he told her when she tried to tell him, "I'm a fucking grown ass woman I can make it there myself."

She stopped complaining though as he walked her to the door and their hands were intertwined.

He walked her up the steps and told her, "I had a great time tonight."

"I did too," she told him and then, "How does tomorrow look for you?"

"I'm free-" James started

"Is it too much to have the second date tomorrow?" Lily asked shyly

"No-no- I can pick up up and"

"Tomorrow is public transit training day one James. So I will pick you up." Lily told him sternly.

Chuckling he answered, "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow," and started down the steps.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Lily called to him.

He turned and looked at her puzzled, "What?"

"I believe we've done all the parts of a first date: dinner, show, milkshake, and a romantic walk to my door. Wouldn't your mother be disappointed if I didn't get my first date kiss?"

James was in front of her in two seconds, "How silly of me."

He took her hands and placed them around his neck. Swallowing his nerves, he put his hands on her hips. Without hesitation, Lily took a step closer and put her lips on his and drew him closer as the kiss deepened. After what could've been a lifetime, they separated.

"Well then" Lily said, somewhat breathlessly, "I'm glad I reminded you about that most important part of the date."

James grinned and told her, "Happy to oblige," and kissed her soundly again.

When James arrived back at his apartment, he was surprised to find the apartment pitch black. Usually, the oven light or  _something_ was on.

Sirius must've worked late- or gone out or-

As James entered the living room a lamp suddenly flicked on.

In the arm chair- smoking a pipe?

"Hello, Potter," his roommate began in an ominous voice. "You're him rather late past curfew. Care to explain yourself?"

"What the fuck is this Sirius?"

"You have no right to speak to me like that young man. Sit there and tell me what gave you the audacity to ask Lily Evans on a date without my permission?" Sirius asked as he stared menacingly at James and took a long drag of his pipe.

Confused and bewildered James asked, "Wasn't your whole plan to get me to date Evans?"

"Yes!" Sirius said calmly, lawyerly and continued, "Yes but imagine how I felt bamboozled and betrayed when Evans came skipping into work talking about her date with my brother- my best friend AND I HAD NO IDEA!"

"Sirius- I" James tried and failed as Sirius powered on,

"To add insult to injury, when I called Mama Potter to complain about this slight, I was shocked to discover SHE WAS PLANNING YOUR DATE FOR YOU."

"Please- it was impulsive I've been working up the courage," James tried again and still Sirius monologued —

"You wouldn't even know Lily if not for me. This is all my doing and if I don't get godfather dibs and best man dibs I am telling Lily all the worst things I know about you."

Scoffing- James asked "Are you going to yell at Lily for our second date tomorrow?"

"No, because that was my idea- for her to ask you on a second date and to help you get over your stupid public transport issues," Sirius smirked- "also- you've got lipstick all over your collar. Honestly, I've told her to invest in something a little more durable but- no one listens to me."

Sirius stood up and headed to the door. James stood speechless.

"I believe, dear James- what you're thinking of is 'thank you'"

"Thank you?" James asked

"You're welcome," Sirius responded, "and if you fuck things up with Evans I will sue your sorry ass."

As the trial loomed ahead of him, James started to panic. He honestly believed that his girlfriend of two years and best friend would eventually drop the whole thing.

He should've known better. It had been a month since " _the events described in appendix d,"_ and the trial was a week away.

During his lunch, James found himself googling

"What is a civil case"

"How to make an opening statement in court"

"What to do when your dramatic girlfriend sues you for calling her dramatic"

and "If I move to Canada will they give me immunity against being sued by a fellow American as long as I become Canadian"

His panic was contrasted by Remus and his eery calm. "They'll come around," Remus would tell James any time he brought it up. Which, he admitted, was probably a little too frequently.

Two days before the trail, James broke and called his mother. The person who answered the phone was not his mother, however.

"Hello? This is Euphemia Potter's phone- who is calling?" a female voice answered.

"Yes, this is her son? James Potter? This is her cell phone right?" James asked as he checked to make sure he had in fact, pressed the mobile number.

"You are correct, Mr. Potter- but as Mrs. Potter is a character witness for both Lily Evans and Sirius Black in the upcoming trail- she cannot speak to you until that time," the voice responded.

"What? Seriously?" he asked

"Yes James- you… I mean….Mr. Potter"

Suddenly he realized who was on the other end of the phone, "Lily?! ARE YOU WITH MY MOM RIGHT NOW?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Potter-"

"Lily, Lily please wait- I...I just miss you? Can't we just put this all behind us? I know that I-"

"I will see you in court Mr. Potter."

And then the call was ended.

James placed his phone on his desk and then his head- repeatedly.

For their first anniversary, James planned the date all by himself. His mother and Sirius had tried to help, but he knew what would be fucking perfect.

Dating Lily Evans was, in short, amazing. He was always surprised, and she had enriched his life in so many ways. When the President was going to cut all funding to museums, Lily help James organize advocacy visits. Because of her connections and position with Everhart, he even got to ride the secret congress train- which, Lily only made fun of his giddiness for a week afterwards. Lily had taught him the finer points of the metro and after six months of dating he begrudgingly gave up his car because he'd only fucked up the metro one time and that was because Lily was being very distracting with her hands and mouth when they were the only ones in the car (she blamed him of course- saying it was a test).

Since he had trouble imaging how he ever lived without her before this year- he wanted to do something special. Take her somewhere she had somehow never been. And because he was friends with Dr. Hayden, he was able to pull some strings.

That Saturday evening, he met Lily at her door and happily took her to the metro. They chatted about their Fridays- they hadn't been able to talk because Lily was pulling overtime on some legislation and James was trying to snatch up some great exhibits from smaller southern museums for the new folk art museum.

When they got off at the Capitol South station and started up the escalator, Lily raised an eyebrow. "Where are we going then?"

"It's a surprise," James winked, and before she could even complain continued, "You'll love it I swear- and then we can go eat at whatever trashy diner or bar you want."

"Deal," she said and held her hand out for a shake, James grabbed it and shook, then pulled her off the escalator and onto the sidewalk.

Once outside, James hooked her arm through his and said, "Come on!"

The two blocks flew by and when they reached their destination- The Library of Congress- Lily stopped short, "Oh James- this is very sweet but, they're closed on Saturday."

With a mischievous grin, James tapped his nose and said, "Not for us, Ms. Evans."

He pulled her to the side entrance and knocked five times, Dr. Hayden opened the door, "I was wondering if you were still coming James! And this must be Lily-"

Lily eagerly shook Dr. Hayden's hand, "It's such a pleasure to meet you Dr. Hayden- I've never visited here but I loved seeing you at the Nancy Hicks lecture and thank you so much for-"

Laughing Dr. Hayden stopped her, "No trouble- a good librarian always lets those who are curious explore whenever they can. James, I have the items requested just this way- you'll have an hour and a half to look at the documents, now make sure you only view them one at a time and not more than thirty minutes at a time."

She led them down a few hallways and pointed out items of interest.

James could barely contain his laughter as he watched Lily look like she was ready to grab anything and everything to devour it.

Dr. Hayden led them to the room where four boxes waited. "I'll leave you to it," she said and gave Lily a kind smile and James a wink.

James could tell Lily's impatience was about to explode so he led her to the chair and told her, "I know this isn't probably the most romantic date but I thought- well- I know how much you love history and law and I just thought this could be nice...be us."

Turning her gaze to him, Lily stated, "It is perfect James but if you don't tell me what is in these boxes I will punch you in the face so I can look myself"

Laughing, James told her, "Sit." She did and James nervously slid the first box to her. He hoped he'd picked well. "Put those gloves on!" Lily complied, and James put his gloves on as well.

"So here, Ms. Evans, we have-" and he took the lid off and revealed, "the first draft of The Emancipation Proclamation."

Lily made a sound that was somewhere between a scream and a gasp.

"Can….I...touch...it?" she whispered

"Yes," James whispered back, "and you don't have to whisper…."

"Yes I do- this is like a church."

For thirty minutes, James watched entranced as Lily poured over the document. He tried to speak to her but was repeatedly "shushed."

When the thirty minutes were up, Lily put the document back into the box, turned to him and whispered, "What's next?"

James pulled the middle two boxes forward "These are connected."

Opening them James announced, "A fragment of and the original rough draft of the Declaration of Independence"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP" Lily whispered and James couldn't help himself and kissed her soundly.

"JAMES! We can't do that here- these are important historical-"

He cut her off with another kiss.

"James," she scolded him again, "Later!"

The next thirty minutes passed much the same- he worried that maybe he should've ended with this- that nothing can top the fucking Declaration of Independence but he knew Lily- he hoped.

She talked a little more this time, commenting about why they might have crossed elements out and how Jefferson, "may have been a slave owning ass but was fucking brilliant," and James was so glad he brought her here.

The timer went off and Lily eagerly put the documents away and looked to James again, "How are you going to top that, Potter?"

"With Lafayette's Copy of the Declaration of the Rights of Man," James stated and put the box in front of her.

With a look of excitement and awe, Lily pulled the lid off and gingerly brought the document out. With no explanation, she took one glove off, touched one finger to the document and then licked her finger. "I just licked something Lafayette touched" she exhaled and James couldn't hold it in anymore.

"I love you Lily," he blurted out loudly. She turned to him, startled, and then he remembered himself and whispered, "I love you Lily."

Her eyes softened and she asked, "Yeah?"

"Yeah," James said and swallowed nervously.

"I love you too," and she closed the small place between them with a kiss

"I just kissed something Lafayette touched," James teased her. She pinched his nose and turned back to the document.

The morning of the trial, James woke up early and wandered to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee and was surprised to find Sirius standing at the stove cooking bacon. Sirius greeted James with a cheery, "Good morning" and handed him a cup of coffee.

James took the coffee with a, "Thanks," before he remembered himself and said, "What the fuck happened to know contact without lawyers present?"

"Oh that-" Sirius waved his hand dismissively, "Remus and I settled out of court late last night. We're still going today for moral support for you and Lily- care to share an uber?"

"Let me get this straight- you and Remus are fine now? No lawsuit- whereas, Lily and I-"

"Whereas," Sirius interrupted, "You've been researching."

"YES I'VE BEEN RESEARCHING! I WROTE A FUCKING OPENING STATEMENT. How can I get Lily to drop this? It….I can't...honestly Sirius if  _you've_  backed off.." James stopped himself

"I'm going to ignore that last jab because I think you are stressed, James," Sirius stated and was surprisingly calm, "But I've told you Lily is stubborn as hell. I've been trying to get her to end this thing since a week afterwards. I thought it was just fun but she's got it in her head and you are just going to have to go in there with your head held high and let the justice system do its job."

"I just miss her, Sirius. And the worst part is now I feel like I really fucked up and I won't get her back," James admitted.

"You'll get her back," Sirius told him earnestly, "Lily is stubborn, but she isn't unreasonable."

"Says the man who isn't being sued for calling someone 'dramatic'," James explained then asked, "What did she say when you told her you and Remus had settled."

"Oh, I didn't tell her that yet,"Sirius said, "She's scary. I'm just going to let her figure it out when she sees us sitting next to each other."

"I thought you just said Lily isn't unreasonable," James said.

"Right- well- that doesn't mean I'm not afraid of her," Sirius admitted.

After several wardrobe changes- mainly Sirius yelling at him to not look like "A fucking museum curator," they finally started making their way to the courthouse. Sirius was reading and writing furiously all over James' opening statement and telling him to "STOP COMPLAINING THIS SHIT WILL WIN THE CASE" when he completely eliminated a paragraph James had spent hours agonizing over. Remus just sat reading Politico on his phone, but would chime in with comments from time to time when Sirius was making it sound too lawyerly.

They made it through security and into their assigned courtroom with little time to spare and as James approached his counsel table, he stole a glance at Lily.

It'd only been a month but he'd forgotten how fucking pretty she was. She was organizing piles of folders, and James suddenly felt very sheepish as he pulled out his two pieces of double spaced paper which were now completely marked up and inexplicably stained with coffee and jam- he didn't even know Sirius had coffee in the car, much less a biscuit. He placed the papers down and took a seat.

Lily turned and looked at him, smiling tensely before her eyes wandered the courtroom. His mother was chatting pleasantly with Remus and Sirius, the only other occupants. When Lily spotted this her eyes narrowed and Sirius shrugged as if to say "What could I do- I'm in love?" Lily rolled her eyes and faced front just as the clerk announced, "All rise for the honorable Judge Berry."

They stood and the Judge took her seat and banged the gavel. She was older, but not unattractive- maybe mid fifties or early sixties. She looked like the kind of woman who was no nonsense and could probably still kick your ass.

"Ms. Evans-"

Lily stepped forward with a rush and started "Yes, your honor. I'm ready for my opening statement now, the events described in-"

The judge cut her off. "No. I don't need to hear that. I simply wanted to ask a question. You're entire allegation is that this man," she gestured to James and then lost track of herself " - and boy is he a handsome one….caused you emotional damages by calling you dramatic."

"Yes, Your Honor," Lily stated calmly and professionally.

"And yet-" the judge continued and stood, "You have now sued this incredibly attractive man to the point where you have prepared character witnesses, statements, and even requested a jury….."

"Yes, Your Honor," again Lily stated this not quite like a robot, but like it was routine.

"To me, Ms. Evans….this whole ordeal seems rather...oh what is the word I am looking for? Oh yes, dramatic?" the judge did not wait for a response before continuing, "I believe Ms. Evans if you were a defense lawyer you'd try to get this whole thing dismissed simply because of the irony. Because you've done nothing to prove your damages but only to prove you are  _in fact_ dramatic."

James felt a surge of victory, of triumph and then he looked over to Lily and she was flushing red and had an expression James had never seen on her face before- and he realized she was embarrassed.

Without thinking, or knowing what the fuck the proper protocol was, James jumped up, slammed his hand on the table and shouted "OBJECTION YOUR HONOR"

Lily and the judge looked startled.

James stepped out behind the table and after looking at Sirius who was gesturing wildly he picked up his opening statement, he cleared his throat took a breath and started

"Now Lily Evans is a great many things. She is intelligent, driven and passionate. She is the type of person that once you meet her, you cannot forget her, nor do you want to. I have known this wonderful woman for over two years," nervously, James glanced at Lily who was still simply starting ahead.

He pressed on, "My life has been made infinitely better by Lily Evans. She has shown me patience, kindness and challenged me to be a better man. I've-"

At this he stopped because Sirius was coughing and James looked to him and Sirius gestured with one finger in a circle  _get on with it._

"Right- so…" James flipped to the second page and to the last paragraph Sirius had butchered and prayed to God that Sirius wouldn't get him killed. He read it silently, grinned and then threw the paper back onto the table.

"Look, this all might seem a bit much to you- your excellency, I mean your honor- but to me it is worth it. Lily Evans is worth any fight or lawsuit or any other damn thing she throws my way because Lily Evans isn't dramatic. She's just Lily- and I love her anyway."

The Honorable Judge Berry looked somewhere between amused, irritated and slightly emotional. She started with "Well, I guess that I can-" but was interrupted by Lily this time.

"Your Honor? Permission to meet with the defendant to try and arrange a settlement?" Lily asked

"Permission granted- room 224 is open," the judge announced, "You have one hour. Court will resume at 11am sharp. I don't tolerate lateness."

James swallowed as Lily inclined her head and he followed her out of the courtroom and up the stairs.

There was a palpable tension and James wasn't sure what was going to happen once they reached the room. He figured Lily was going to scream at him and he was racking his mind for how to apologize.

They entered the room and Lily stood in front of the table and told him, "Lock the door."

He did and when she heard the click Lily turned to him. James opened his mouth to say something when suddenly, Lily's arms were around his neck and she was pushing him against the door and kissing him fiercely.

James responded naturally and found his arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her closer. When they pulled away she started, "James, I'm so sorry I—" but James was done with talking and brought her mouth back to his and kissed her soundly then told her, "Nothing to apologize for love."

He started to kiss his way up her neck, and when he nibbled on the bottom of her ear Lily breathed, "Table now..walk me to the table."

James obliged, shedding his blazer in the process as Lily stepped out of her heels. He helped her onto the corner of the table and kissed her gently when she pulled on his tie.

Now that he had leverage, James made short work of removing her tights and when he was done began slowly trailing his fingers up her thighs.

He kissed her softly, once, twice and then on the third kiss when she demanded more he slipped one finger along the edge of her underwear and inside of her. She gasped and relaxed and James pressed a second finger inside while pressing on her clit with his thumb. Sensing she would be close now, he bit her ear again and kissed her before dropping to his knees and started to kiss the edge of her knee when Lily stopped him.

"No- we don't have time. I want you...all of you...now."

James grinned and stood to capture her lips again. As they kissed- Lily deftly removed his belt and James stepped out of his pants and boxers as Lily centered herself on the long table. Moving the end chair out of the way, James pulled Lily up for one more kiss.

"I won't last long," he told her

"You never do in public," she said and gave him a saucy wink before taking him in her hand and giving him a teasing squeeze.

"Lay back," James growled and Lily did.

She lifted her hips to welcome him home and he pressed into her, trying not to rush, but fuck he loved her.

"Fuck James," Lily whined and reached her hands down to to touch herself.

"Let me," he warned and Lily moved her hands to her hips and let James take control.

When they were finished, Lily kissed James lazily and told him, "I am sorry you know, I just." James cut her off with another kiss and told her, "Shhh...its fine now. We've not much time left- lets put the room back together."

Lily swung off the table and went to pick up James' pants to hand to him. He was busy putting the chair back when he heard a small thud.

He turned, too late to find Lily picking up a small box, "James," she asked nervously- "what is this?"

"Well…. I hoped...that it would be an engagement ring…but then I was sued by this crazy woman and…"

Somehow Lily had made it across the room in three swift steps and was kissing him again.

At 11:30, the Honorable Judge Berry was irritated to see Lily Evans and James Potter looking a little too disheveled and a little too happy for two people who were thirty minutes late to court.

When Lily pushed her hair behind her ear as she apologized, "Terribly sorry for the delay, Your Honor- somethings just had to be hashed out." Sirius noticed a small sparkle on her left hand and begrudgingly handed his mother Fifty American Dollars and cursed himself for being such a damn good lawyer.


End file.
